There's Something About Kakashi
by Scernicop and Pytomel
Summary: It's a normal day for Naruto when a mysterious stranger tells him something about Kakashi that may change the way he views everything. Please review! No pairings. SemiAU


Rainbows and Unicorns, a Naruto story of interesting ninja proportions!

By Scernicop and Pytomel

It was a shining, happy day in Ninjutsuland. Naruto was walking by when he noticed somebody watching him and his buddies in the bushes. He was all like, "Hey! Watcha doin'?"

The mysterious figure in the bushes was all like, "Oh-ehm-jee! How did you see in my _perfect disguise_?"

"I'm a ninja. Duh."

"Oh, okay."

"Whatcha doin'?"

"Trying to catch a unicorn."

Naruto thought about this for a minute, and figured this was a reasonable answer. I mean, come on, for a guy with a vocabulary of four words (believe, it, yeah, ninja), I've never really thought of him as the sharpest shuriken in the ninja bunch.

"Can I help?" he asked, trying not to be useless.

The mysterious figure replied, "No, this is delicate work."

"So… uh… where's the unicorn?"

"Can't tell you that. It's a _secret_. Can't let the public know about stuff like this. Yeeep," the mysterious figure replied slowly. "Yeeeep. Can't let you know."

"You better believe I'm not the public! BELIEVE IT!" Naruto said rather convincingly (if convincing is the way a ten-year old acts like he's twenty). "YEAH! I'M SO UN-PUBLIC I'M A SECRET! YEAH!"

"…Aren't you that Naruto kid?"

"…NO!"

Then Sasuke walked up to Naruto, who was yelling at the bushes again, and said, "Hey Naruto, what did the bushes do this time?"

"…I'M A SECRET!"

"…Okay then. I'll be avoiding you... over there." He walked a few yards away and decided to practice being emo while waiting for Naruto to stop being weird (like that was ever going to happen).

The mysterious figure, at this time, said, "So, you're that Naruto kid, huh?"

"NO, I'M A SECRET OLD MAN! BELIEVE IT!"

"Yeeeep. Anyways, bugger off. I gotta geet me a unicorn."

"… What unicorn?" Naruto said irritably (not that he'd know what that means).

"That one," he said. The mysterious figure had decided by now that maybe just telling him would force him to leave sooner.

Unfortunately, the mysterious figure was pointing in the direction of a ninja, which was not a unicorn.

"Um… Mister? That's Kakashi-san-chan-kun-dono-niisan-sensei."

"What?" The mysterious figure, alarmed by his amazing stupidity and improper usage of Japanese grammar, replied to this by saying, "That's a unicorn. Duh."

"NO! THAT'S KAKASHI-SAN-CHAN-KU-"

"Yeeep. Sure it is. It's just unicorn magic blocking your senses. Yeeeep. That's a unicorn all right, despite how you've massacred the Japanese language in his… honor? Yeeep."

"But it's KAKASHI-SENSEI!!!!! HE CAN'T BE A-"

"UNICORN? THIS IS KAKASHIIIIIIIIIIIII!" the mysterious figure screamed as he jumped from the bushes!

However, Kakashi was standing three yards away and _could actually hear them screaming_. Being Kakashi, he took no alarm to this and simply walked over to the crazy screaming boy. "…Yes?"

"OH! MISTER KAKASHI-SAN-CHAN-KUN-DONO-NIISAN-SENSEI!"

"…Do you have any clue what you're saying? At all? EVER?"

"SOMETIMES I THINK FIRST SIR!" NARUTO REPLIED DILIGENTLY.

Ahem. At this time, the mysterious figure was finally acknowledged by someone other than Naruto. He was screaming too. "I'VE GOT YOU THIS TIME!"

"Excuse me?" Kakashi replied. Only Naruto ever freaks out about anything. The other ninjas just act cool about it, and in Sasuke's case, emo.

It should be mentioned that the mysterious figure was revealed to be a rather odd looking old man wearing fairy wings.

"WHY DO YA GOT THOSE WINGS, OLD MAN? ARE YOU FULL OF BEEEEEANS AND CLAM CHOWDER? MY MOM'S FULL OF BEANS AND CLAM CHOWDER!"

"I thought your mother died, Naruto," Kakashi said, completely at home with this craziness.

"WEEEELLLL, IF SHE WAS ALIVE I'M SURE SHE WOULD BE!"

"Respect your parents, Naruto."

"YESSIR KAKASHI-SAN-CHA-"

"Naruto?"

"YESSIR??"

"Please stop talking now." Kakashi whinnied.

Fairy-man then realized, "OHMIGOSH HE WHINNIED! DINT YA HEAR DAT?"

"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU BECAUSE I'M SHOUTING!"

"KAKASHI'S A UNICORN!"

"…What? I'm not a unicorn!" Kakashi said as he threw a handful of oats at the old-dude defensively.

Suddenly, like a ninja, Sasuke came out of his emo corner and _took down the old-fairy-dude-unicorn-hunter with pure emo powers of unethical proportions_.

THEN NARUTO WHISPERED, "WOW SASUKE, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD USE POETRY LIKE THAT!" This is when you, the reader, realize that Naruto does not know how to whisper properly, so he settles for shouting instead. Now, if you are a poor Narutard who has dared to read this far, we can't say sorry. Because if you like Naruto, you might deserve this maybe just a little bit. We'd like it, however, if we remain in one piece afterwards. Really. We'd like it a lot.

OF COURSE, if you are a normal person who has unwittingly been pulled into the army of zombies known as Naruto fans, then you will realize that we are right about everything ever.

But anyways, some semblance of a plot is necessary, so we continue.

"Yeah, well, Naruto, you can." Sasuke said, trying to look cool after stabbing an old guy with a shuriken made out of an emo poem… Incredibly, he _managed to pull it off_.

Meanwhile, Kakashi had migrated to a nearby pasture to think for a while, chewing on some oats. They had come so close to learning his secret!

THE END

Please comment! No flames! D: We worked very hard to make it a meaningful and symbolic story. :)


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